


A Love Letter from the Bird in Black in Blue

by N3333ka



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)
Genre: F/M, First slash I’ve ever done before so bare with me, M/M, dick deserves to be happy but i only know how to write angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2019-01-10 16:04:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12302685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N3333ka/pseuds/N3333ka
Summary: Dick writes a letter that he probably won't ever send.





	A Love Letter from the Bird in Black in Blue

**Author's Note:**

> This was something I’d written for someone on Tumblr who was feeling down. Not sure it worked though because this is angst. I was thinking of making a fluffy one that’s actually not sad but I’m Not sure if that’s possible for me

To,  
F/N...

I know we don’t get to see each other much anymore. With my day and night job being a crucial element in Gotham’s safety, I’ve been working “too much” you always tell me. 

You send me messages sometimes, asking if I got enough sleep. I’ll say yes and you’ll leave it at that, like we always do. I think this time we’ve given up with fighting. As long as we both remain passive, no one gets hurt. I know I should be strong, I have to be strong with the stuff I do at night as I parade around in spandex, but fighting with you? I’ve never been good at.

The last fight we had, I remember you screaming these words at me: “Why are you saving Gotham, if you can’t even save yourself?”

I think about that sentence now and again. I think about it a lot more than I wish for. But I won’t ever be able to save myself. I’ve gone my whole life, saving Gotham -even at times, saving the world- all the while being broken. I have never been whole and it’s taken me a long time to realise this, but, being with you changed me, for the better of course. I’ve always been broken and I’d always threatened to break at the seams. When you came, you stitched me back up. I still had scars and wounds covering my body but I was also stronger than I’d ever been before. 

Feelings have always been complicated with me -my emotionally studded ‘father’ was the one who sparked that. But unlike him I love; unafraid and trusting. Knowing that my friends -knowing that you- will have my back no matter what. My work has stopped me from telling you this -or perhaps that is my excuse for being too afraid- but ever since I laid eyes on your beautiful face, my heart was entranced. Your kind and soft nature intrigued me and I found comfort in being around you. Your consoling words could dampen the raging storm in me and make my sadden mind feel alright again. You could stop a murder with your compassion alone, something I’ve only ever seen one person do. You and Wonder Woman always baffled me with your compassion. Both of you told me I was the same and although I try, I don’t think I’ll ever be like that. 

One day you asked me why I hold you in the highest light, why I seem to worship you as a ‘god’. That’s the simplest thing I’ll ever have to answer. It’s because you’re you. A person so focused on loving others is something I barely see in this dark world. I’ve known pain for a very long time and so have my brothers and sisters. It feels like some days that’s all I’ve ever known. But when I look at you? All that rage and fear dissipates until I’m the closest thing to whole again, until I’m as fixed as I’ll ever be. The first weeks of when I meet you, Bruce watched you with a wary eye. I knew he felt as if no person should be as loving as you were -are. No person should ever trust as much as you did. He saw you as an enemy for so long and I don’t blame him. You shouldn’t have been real. No one was as perfect and beautiful as you and doubt flooded me when I first meet you. But then the days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months. I begun to learn each and every flaw you had and it made me love you more. It was foolish of me to keep my mouth shut and not say a word of my love to you. Fighting psychopaths was easier than confronting you about my feelings. It shouldn’t be this hard, my hand shakes as I write this letter and perhaps I’ll never send this. Even if I sent this to you, what would it change? The distance between us if too far to ever make something out of what we potentially have. So now, maybe this letter will sit in my drawer as the days pass by, a reminder of what could’ve been. 

Sincerely,  
The Bird in Black and Blue.


End file.
